The thin line

Between being grateful and overwhelmed. When you are infertile, you think just give me a baby and I'll be happy every second of the day. God blessed me with three. And for the most part I feel blessed most of the time. Let me say, as I go to bed every night I know exactly how blessed I am. Staying present in each and every moment is another story. 

Flying solo with these kids six days a week is kicking my ass. 

I love, love, love them. They are amazing kids. This week has royally sucked. We are in the middle of a relocation. The appraisal on our buyout was dismal, the housing market where we are moving to isn't that great, and this week my job told me the budget was cut and my hours were cut down to ten a week. I need 24 as a minimum. Katie's teething, trying to learn how to crawl and just generally not sleeping and I'm doing 98% of this alone. At the end of the day, I have nothing left to give. Two nights this week, I forced myself to just get on the treadmill to take an hour for myself. Best decision ever. One night I had to try to justify keeping my hours. The rest of my days should be spent searching for new work, but it's hard with a baby that can't be put down and nobody to help. I should be doing it now, but I'm complaining to the internet instead. Tonight I whine, go to bed, wake up, and face a new day with a new perspective. 

In amazing news, In January of 2012, I started going to a stroller strides class. I was down a little of 20 pounds when I got pregnant with Katie. I managed to only gain 18 pounds while pregnant with her so that weight came off easily. As of today, I'm almost down 55 pounds from that January! It feels so good to have all of my old clothes fit again and to almost be a normal weight. Anyway, in a sea of complaints, I thought I should put one nice thing up.

Oh and a picture to prove that we're not a total disaster all of the time. :)