Emotional Overload

Thank you all for your birthday wishes! This morning I woke up when Mr. W left for work and he gave me two cards. Inside one of the cards was a picture of the i.Pad (it was picture since he had to preorder the gift). I wasn’t expecting that, but I’m super excited. This weekend we’ll go out to dinner to celebrate both of our birthdays.

Tomorrow is our first u/s. I’m not expecting to see too much since it’s so early. I was thinking that I should have just kept my appointment for next week, but I’m really excited to get a peek at what’s happening in there. My parents, sister, and husband all think we’re having twins. I think that it’s just one. I guess we’ll know tomorrow.

So far I’m just feeling tired, bloated and my nips are really sore. I don’t have any nausea yet, sometimes a little in the afternoon.

I’ve been feeling nervous about posting too much. I’ve been really freaked out that I’m going to jinx it. I go from wanting to shout the news from the rooftops to wanting to not even talk about it. Part of me feels guilty that we got a positive on our first IUI and we don’t deserve it when I see so many other deserving couples go through so much more. It’s amazing how IF messes up the way you think. I’m sure that if I would gotten a BFP the first month we tried I wouldn’t feel this way. I would still be blissfully naïve. Instead I’m terrified that this is all going to be taken away from me and we’ll have to start all over again.

For now I will try to live in the moment and enjoy myself.