Our doctor told us on Friday that our risk of loss is down to 10%, and will be down to 3% if all goes well during our u/s on April 9. I pray every day that that appointment will go well and that this is it for us. I’m THRILLED that everything is progressing so well, but my family doesn’t seem to understand that I’m not ready to share the news with everyone just yet. They sort of made me feel like I’m not excited enough.
After going through month after month of failure I got used to sort of internalizing how I was feeling. I got used to keeping everything bottled up and was careful to not share my disappointment with anyone because if I was told to “just relax” again I was afraid I would lose it. So now that I have good news I just want to keep it as bottled up. Part of me doesn’t want to jinx myself or tempt fate. I just want to get through the first trimester. I know that my family is ecstatic. SO. AM. I. Why can’t they just back off a little?
When I told my sister that I didn’t think I would make some type of grand FB announcement she seemed shocked. It’s my body; it’s my decision to share. So then she asked me when she could post something because “she was going to have to.” How about you wait until I want to and just back off?
I simply want them to wait until the beginning of May to tell people other than family / close friends. Is that too much to ask? Even Mr. W can’t seem to understand why I’m being like this. I just wish they could understand instead of think that I’m being weird.
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I can totally relate to this post, in fact, my post today was along the same lines - but with this pregnancy, I'm finally starting to let go of my fear (albeit, bit by small bit) and sharing the news with our families this past weekend was such a blessing. Whatever and whenever you feel comfortable is completely your choice and right - especially when our journey has been tainted.
ReplyDeleteI definitely can relate. I know my mom is dying to tell her friends but I am not letting her yet. I told her I want to get through the 1st trimester, which is about 2-3 weeks away. I agree that it is our choice and you will know when it is right to tell others.
ReplyDeleteYou're right. Your body, your baby, your decision. Not your family's or anyone elses. Be sure to tell them that in no uncertain terms if that's how you feel. Period.
ReplyDeleteI don't blame you one bit.
You're totally right. It is your decision to tell. DEFINITELY not theirs. And, if you want to wait, you have the right!! You will know when it is right! :)
ReplyDeleteWe're on all your side!!! :)
No, it is NOT too much to ask. This is your decision, and yours alone. You are the only person who gets to decide when is the "right" time to share. No one else. Just start telling your family that for every day they pressure you, that's one more day you aren't going to share the news.
ReplyDeleteYou can share the wonderful news when YOU are ready. I waited to tell the world when I was 13 weeks but that's when I felt ok about letting everyone know.
ReplyDeleteYou should take as much time as you need. And everybody should totally respect your wish. I hope they can understand. Sorry about the pressure. Also, I am sure they are just too excited for you;) but I am sure the time will soon come when you will be ready to celebrate with them openly.
ReplyDeleteMuch love your ways.
I didn't do any grand annoucements until 1T was over either and don't think you should feel guilty for waiting as long as you want to tell. My doctor actually recommended it. Do you think that it would help if your family knew that doctors recommend that sometimes?
ReplyDeleteWith that said it was such a cool feeling to tell people and let that weight of TTC go...little by little =)
I did the same thing. I waited until the first trimester was done and we felt, "safe."
ReplyDeleteMy doctor ALSO recommended it. Better to feel relieved when the word gets out than to feel a little fearful.
I know a chick who not only told the world at week five but put together the baby nursery (neutral colors) then, too. She could not believe I wanted to remain so tight lipped about my pregnancy.
To each it's own, yeah?
I am so happy for you, by the way. This is WONDERFUL news.
xo B
http://www.ivfgirl.com
I totally understand, and I think I will be the exact same way. I am terrified of tempting the fates anyway, and I wouldn't be able to handle a ton of people know if something DID go wrong.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sorry, but since when is Facebook the go-to for all this news? It kind of drives me crazy. Why on earth would your sister "have to" post anything on your page on Facebook? Why can't she just pick up the phone and call you if she has something to say and knows you don't want it there?
I'm sorry - that is just one of my pet peeves! Nothing "has to" be shared on Facebook.
It is so exciting that you are getting so close to being able to relax and enjoy this though! Good luck!